An Introduction of Sorts
*Fair warning that I may use curse words in my entries whenever I feel called to, so if curse words bother you, you don't have to continue reading.*
I felt compelled to just write in hopes of helping others going through a spiritual awakening feel seen, heard, and normal no matter how far along they are. Have you ever found yourself wondering what your purpose was in life? Or if there was more to life than getting an education, getting married, having kids, working until retiring, "enjoying" life a little, and then dying? I know I have. Spirituality is about the soul and its purpose in this particular lifetime. Finding this purpose allows us to live fulfilling, meaningful lives that fuels the soul. Many people merely just exist, essentially waiting for death; they only touch the surface of what life has to offer. Why do so many of us seem to believe there is this blueprint or timeline for life that must be followed that defines what success is? Rarely do we dive deeper into the feeling of things. I know I was guilty of following the path that society has normalized where I was just trudging along with no sense of purpose. Although our journey is ultimately our own, as each individual is unique, we don't ever need to feel alone in this process. My intention is to be as real as possible because this journey isn't all rainbows, sunshines, and fluff. I thought spirituality was just some hippy dippy shit from what I've been exposed to through media. We are constantly fed this whole "love and light" ideology when it comes to spirituality with all this positivity and affirmations, but a lot of popular influencers aren't being transparent by going deep and sharing their failures or the amount of time and money they've invested into themselves to get to where they are today. It's okay to not be positive all the time. It's okay to not repeat affirmations if you're not feeling it or if it doesn't resonate with you at all. I do see some more authentic and vulnerable souls popping up on social media, so that's encouraging and more aligned with my approach to this process. That is not to knock anyone down who chooses not to share those aspects of themselves though, because truly, love and light at the end of the day. We're all just trying our best, whatever that means for us, individually. I'm choosing to share the darkness within my journey along with the light because they co-exist and it is a part of my healing. If by me being transparent and vulnerable can help just one person begin to heal themselves or further heal themselves, then this blog will be fulfilled in its purpose. The beauty of this journey is that you have the freedom to approach it however you want to because there is no one way or right way to go about it as long as you are being honest with yourself and doing what is right for you. My suggestion is to not get caught up with structure and traditional views of things, because that is self-limiting belief by trying to fit into this rigid mold where there is none. There are ways to be respectful of traditions and still make it your own because evolution is inevitable and energy is fluid. I also encourage you not to be so damn hard on yourself if you find yourself falling into old patterns that no longer serve you. As long as you pick yourself up and continually show up when you're ready to, that's a fucking win in my book and something you should celebrate and be proud of! Do things with an open mind and heart (and only when you're ready), be present, and live your truth. Also, have fun with this process because it'll help things flow a lot better when you just go with it and trust that you are exactly where you're supposed to be. I came across a good mantra that stuck with me: Let go of the past, live in the present, plan for the future. As always, only take what resonates with you, because you know yourself best! I'm just here to share what has or hasn't worked for me. I choose to stay grounded and be present in this life to work towards my highest self utilizing the wisdom of past lives and guidance from those that have my greatest and highest good in mind.
It's funny how I left my last blog unfinished and yet here I am finding myself being called to blog again. From what I can recall, my spiritual awakening occurred in 2016 after being diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, which was then re-diagnosed as Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (accepted as the chronic version of GBS). They are both autoimmune disorders in which your own body attacks the protective layer of the nerves called myelin. For a little bit of context, I was 28 years old, at my healthiest, and about to apply to PA schools.
This is an excerpt taken from my old blog: "I wish everyone going through this (family and friends included) finds solace in knowing they are not alone. That there's hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Though healing may take what seems like an eternity, each day is a blessing and upon reflection, each little victory is, in actuality, a huge milestone! This chronicle will take a peek into my roller coaster ride with not only GBS, but also my faith and family dynamic.
Growing up, I always had a strange inkling that I was going to die young, that I had no future beyond my 20s. I was partially right. I only nearly died, which has turned my world upside down. It had me questioning my accomplishments thus far and what my purpose was in life. Was this it?"
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